Deleted Scene #3 – Dirk Irtly

Dirk Irtly, channel forty-two action news central

The Dirk Irtly bit, on page 195, originally included this joke. However, one of my proof readers didn’t get it, so I tried to expand on it. Then she thought it was too vulgar, so I removed the whole thing. But every time I read it I laugh, so I wanted to share it with you.


I said casually. “Oh, did I tell ya I’m recently recovering from hip surgery?”

“Wow,” replied Dirk, “that’s amazing. How did you break it?”

“Oh no, I didn’t break anything. I just didn’t feel I was hip enough.”

Austin, from just off camera, chimed in with, “Bah-dah-bum, chee!” A classic rimshot noise if ever I heard one. “But seriously folks.”

“You play a good straight man, Dirk Irtly.”

“Hey now, wait a minute,” Dirk said with fire in his eyes. “I’m not gay!”

“No, I meant in the comedy sense. You’re Dick to my Tommy.”

“My what to your what?! I said I don’t swing that way!”

“No, the Smothers Brothers. You’re my … oh never mind. So hey, when will this air?”

Mumbling under his breath, the flummoxed reporter replied, “Never, if I have anything to say about it.”

(c) 2015 by Randy D Pearson

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